


Hindsight is a Bitch

by LiterallyThePresident



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Ben is a worried boy, spoilers for episode 75
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21665656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyThePresident/pseuds/LiterallyThePresident
Summary: Ben and Troy find Sammy in the aftermath of the crash
Relationships: Ben Arnold & Sammy Stevens
Comments: 8
Kudos: 96





	Hindsight is a Bitch

When the call had cut out with the sounds of an explosion, and Sammy’s end of the line had gone dead, Ben had wasted precious seconds frozen in place, numb with terror and denial at the thought that Sammy might be hurt, or worse. But then Emily, bless her, had shaken him out of it, and he’d practically launched himself into Troy’s car as they sped off to find Sammy, his mind a whirl of panicked possibilities that wouldn’t let him relax even for a second despite Troy’s reassurances that he'd be okay. 

Finding the twisted remains of Sammy’s car smashed against a tree, clearly having been thrown by the force of the explosion, instantly made its way to the top five of Ben’s Worst Moments of My Life list. Leaping out of Troy’s car before it had even stopped, rushing to the site and finding Sammy lying motionless and pale next to the pile of twisted metal rocketed squarely to spot number two, right after the night Emily was taken. Sammy was just...  _ lying _ there. Sprawled near the remains of his car, a clear indent in the tree behind him showing exactly where he’d hit. Unmoving. Ben’s heart leapt into his throat. 

“Sammy!?” the name tore from his chest, “ _ Sammy _ !? No no no no no no no...” His knees bled as he hurled himself to the ground beside his best friend, dragging his limp form into his arms. Sammy’s head lolled like a rag doll, his raven hair a curtain spilling over Ben’s arms as he clutched his limp form close, trembling hands checking for a pulse and fearfully touching his face, whimpering at how cold it was. God, not like this. Don’t let him lose Sammy like this. 

“Ben?” Troy’s voice rang from behind him, “Ben, is Sammy there?”

“T- _ Troy _ .” Ben gasped, clutching Sammy close and trying to get his breathing under control. He was no use to Sammy if he hyperventilated, “Troy, he needs help! He’s alive but he’s not waking up!”

“Jeezus Pleezus!” Troy gasped, “Now what in the nine hells happened here?”

“I don’t know, Troy, the explosion, maybe, the lights, god, please Troy, he needs help!” Ben cried, and Troy was immediately on Sammy’s other side, seasoned hands checking for a pulse and brushing his hair back, eyes darting around the scene like a detective. 

“Looks like his car got knocked over by that dang explosion.” Troy mused, brow furrowed, “Ben, is Sammy alright?”

“He’s  _ unconscious _ !” he snapped, “Stop wasting time and  _ do something _ !”

“Ain’t no need for that tone.” Troy sighed, but his eyes were shining with worry, and Ben took a deep breath to calm himself. He was right. He didn’t deserve Ben’s harshness, he was worried too.

“I’m sorry.” he managed, “I’m really really sorry, but it’s  _ Sammy _ and I-“

“I know.” Troy managed to give him a reassuring smile, only a little strained, “I know, and there ain’t no hard feelings. Let’s make sure it’s safe to move him, and then-“ he was interrupted by a soft sound of pain from the man in Ben’s arms, and Ben’s attention snapped to him instantly.

“Sammy?” he gasped, tears streaming down his face as Sammy’s eyes slid open slightly, lidded and hazy, “Sammy, can you hear me? It’s alright, it’s okay, I’m here. Troy and I are both here, you’re gonna be okay.”

“The fuck...?”

“Don’t try to move, here, god, you’re freezing.” he hurriedly stripped his jacket off and draped it over Sammy’s chilled form, rubbing his arms to try and warm him, “How are you feeling? Sammy? Can you tell me how you’re feeling?”

“...didn’t take me...”

“What?”

“The Void...” his words were slurred, his pupils mismatched in a way that told Ben of a concussion, “It didn’t fuckin’... take me. Neither did the lights… He was so close, I... I just wanted to disappear...” Ben’s heart dropped, and he pulled his best friend closer as if he could shield him from the demons of his own mind. God, he was never letting Sammy out of his sight ever again. Troy’s eyes were suspiciously misty, and he quietly excused himself to examine Sammy’s car to see if anything could be salvaged, giving Ben and Sammy a moment of privacy.

“Sammy.” Ben whispered, his voice ragged, “Sammy, if you disappeared, I’d lose my goddamn mind.”

“Ben...?”

“I’d have spent the rest of my life searching for you.” he bit out, “When I found out you hadn’t gone to the city, and I would find out, you know me, I would have searched and searched until I dropped, and then searched some more. Think Emily Notebook times a billion, understand? There’s no Arnold without Stevens, okay? We’re a package deal, goddamn it, so don’t think for a second that I’d just be okay with you-“

“Ben.” Troy cut in softly from behind him, sympathy clear in his voice, “He ain’t lookin’ so coherent. We gotta get him in the car. Hospital’s just a drive away.” He was right. Sammy’s pupils were mismatched and uneven, his eyelids fluttering slightly as if it were a battle to keep them open, a battle he was rapidly losing.

“Think I hit my head...” Sammy slurred, and Ben had to choke down the emotion threatening to overwhelm him. He ran his hands over Sammy’s head, feeling the impressive goose egg forming near the back.

“You... You hit your head real bad, buddy.” he managed a watery smile he hoped was reassuring, “But it’s okay. We’re gonna get you to the hospital, and you’re gonna be just fine.”

“Just fine...” Sammy echoed quietly, his eyelids fluttering, “Just fine... Ben’s here...” and then his head was falling back, and he was unconscious again. Ben took a ragged breath, allowing himself a moment to let it sink in that Sammy was alive and relatively safe and  _ nothing _ was  _ ever _ going to harm him again. He was still shaking, and he couldn’t seem to stop. He wasn’t used to seeing his stable and reasonable best friend so vulnerable. He didn’t like it. 

“Come on, Ben.” Troy, blessed wonderful Troy, laid a warm hand on Ben’s shoulder, “Let’s get him up and somewhere safe.” Sammy was taller than both of them, so it took some teamwork to get him into Troy’s car. But in the end, he was situated as comfortably as they could manage, his head resting on Ben’s lap and cold hand clutched tightly in his. Troy slid into the driver’s seat and flipped the police lights on, setting off down the road towards Big Pines as fast as he could safely go. Ben stroked Sammy’s hair, just to have something to occupy his hands. His thoughts, however, were not so lucky. His mind whirled with half-formed thoughts and theories, memories brought up and recontextualized, Sammy’s past behavior and words replayed in the cold light of new knowledge and hindsight, and the picture it painted wasn’t pretty. He’d known Sammy was unhappy, heartbroken even, since that night he was outed. But he hadn’t known he was suicidal. He hadn’t known anything.

His heart ached, and he didn’t know if it would ever stop. The entire time he’d known him, ever since he came to King Falls, Sammy had been dying. His best friend had been one step away from killing himself the entire time he’d known him, and Ben had been too wrapped up in his own problems to notice his pain. 

When Sammy was better, they were going to sit down and talk. Ben was going to make absolutely sure Sammy knew he was  _ loved _ , that he was important to him, and to so many others. He was going to take care of Sammy for a change, no more going off and leaving him to his own devices. No more letting him go home to an empty apartment, no more letting him duck out of social interactions, no more allowing any thoughts of self-loathing or self-destruction. He was going to get it through Sammy’s thick skull that he was treasured even if he had to scream it on the air every night for the rest of his life. 

The rest of  _ their _ lives. Because they were gonna be Cecil and Herschel someday. They were gonna be old and grouchy and bickering to each other about the youngin’s, sitting on a porch with Emily and Jack and complaining about their old bones and they way radio used to be back in their day. That couldn’t happen without Sammy, he couldn’t be  _ complete _ without his best friend.

“You’re gonna be okay, Sammy.” Ben whispered, eyes wide and watery as Big Pines came into view, “We got you. You’re gonna be okay.”


End file.
